# 9 The Globe Trotting Party Person/ People
Everyone wants to get a little crazy on the road but the GTPP are creatures who will travel 10,000 km for the sole purpose of doing the exact same thing they do back home – get wasted and get laid, under the false pretext that the former would be cheaper and the latter would be easier if they were to do it in say, Thailand (forget the temples and stuff – on to the Full Moon Party!) What they fail to realise is that a week-long state of inebriation, would make it very hard indeed to keep tabs on what they’re spending – what? How much did that last round of Jager Bombs cost? Here, take my wallet. I’m so out of it maaaaan. Hey, man, have you seen my wallet? I had it last night... As for getting laid? Well, it would be easier if you hadn’t already spent all your money on those Jagers. Enjoy getting laid on a discount!
Party People usually travel in small packs of 4-6 like-minded Bros and Hos from back home. But as the global trail of vomit and herpes continue, and they become more confident and experienced travellers, the GTPP pack will be reduced to about 2 people. People are intimidated by big groups. The reduced GTPP pack makes it easier for the experienced GTPP to meet “fun, new people”. These new people will add another dimension, richness to the GTPP’s travel experience – meaning the GTPP now gets to do the exact same thing they do with their mates back home – get wasted and get laid – with people who are like their mates, only with a funnier accent. Woohoo!
#10 The Mob
Upon closer inspection, The Mob of friends may consist of 4-6 Globe Trotting Party People or a mix of several different types of backpackers. A few of them may even be likable on their own, but to an outsider, they all seem like one giant mass of whatever. Certain members of The Mob may try to strike up conversation with you, as a way to while away the time as the rest of their friends try to get their act together - bloody wake up and shit - but they will certainly leave you hanging once their wave of friends approach and they are washed away by the tide, out to somewhere you’re not invited. You don’t like them anyway; the way they run in and out like a football team in training, the way they bring out painful, high-school memories of you eating lunch alone. There are 6 of them in an 8 bed dorm, and they take the entire place over, the way algae spreads in a neglected swimming pool. You are but a tiny droplet of regular-strength chlorine in a sea of shit. You feel like an oppressed minority – crushed under the weight and noise of inside jokes you don’t get; all while you’re trying to sleep or find time to write poetry in your journal. But then, The Mob is not here to accommodate you, stranger and they would’ve rented an entire holiday villa to themselves, were it not for the fact that they’re just too damn cheap.
#11 The Romantic Couple
One wonders why The Couple bothers to trek the globe with the rest of the backpacking herd when really, no matter where they go, they seem to remain stuck on a planet of their own anyhow. There are several sub-types under this category; the most difficult one being The Well-That’s-Not-Going-To-Last Couple – the kind of couple that will ruin a nice peaceful morning at the hostel, not by actually talking to you, but by arguing publicly, loudly, emotionally, passionately over undercooked tofu burgers. But even the The-Fun-Friendly-Likable-Made-For-Each-Other Couple can irritate your bitter, lonely, unloved-self at times, particularly with their use of the word “We” – “We are going to soandso tonight; you should come”, “We just got here last night”, “We are hungry”, “We think it’s great – even if only one of we thinks so”. For the Globe Trotting Party Person, this particular well-adjusted sub-type of romantic couple offer nothing but disappointment – yeah man, that’s one less person I can possibly get laid by. Bummer.
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